Still Alive

I'm still alive... It's 3:16am right as I'm typing. Lately, in the past week, my sleeping habits have gone down the drain. I'm sleeping at like 4am now, before it was like 2am, latest 2:30am....

Anyways, life's been boring as always... I just finished my finals a week or two ago. I pretty much studies 18 hours or so straight, no sleep, from about 1pm 'til 7am the nxt day lol. I mean I planned my study time but I wasn't committed until it was pretty much last minute and I really had to focus. I mean I had two weeks, which quickly shortened to four days, 'til two days, and then finally 24 hours and then I became serious. What a complete joke of a person I am

Although this was very stupid of me, it proved a theory of me - that I'm not dumb because I'm incapable of learning or grasping concepts, rather I choose to put myself in this position because I'm lazy. Thinking about it now, I'm a complete retard, hell, other people wish they can learn but can't and I chose to put myself into this shitty situation. Fuck life. and fuck myself.

Let's talk about something else cause this topic is putting me in a shit and solemn mood.......

Lol ok, I just skim read my past posts and it's already been half a year since I last posted. I'm sooo lazy, cause I gotta switch accounts when I post blogs but I'm too lazy to do that -.-

OK So I did BBA102, ACST101, ECON110 and STATS101 and I failed acst and econ and passed the other two. So for my 3rd sem which was suppose to be my second year but I fucked up, I repeated those units but I didnt tell anyone cause I know a huge shit storm would follow and I'll get fucked on ten-folds. It was exactly what happened as described above only I studied literally and hour or two for each one. Useless. Hopefully I passed or I just fucked my life hard.

Anyways... Serg recently came back to Syd for a few days from Melb and we chilled with each other along with the others. We had an awesome time.

Also Colin invited to me to his birthday 3 weeks ago and I had lots of fun. It really made me miss those days when we were together ( no homo ;) ) but times have changed, we make choices, if you cannot cope or adapt you fall behind... Me being myself, an anti-social-quite-and-reserved person, I pretty much lost connection with majority of my friends but then, as Vernon once said, are they really your 'friends'? He raised the topic and it was intriguing as it woke me up into reality that really, I have very few friends and I'm only really connected to them because of gaming. I mean in all seriousness, which game I play and when I play them could really determine what group I hang out with. I guess occasionally on big events we all hang out together but on a monthly basis lets say, If I play with Vern and stuff we- *thoughts get cut off and realises truth* Ok. Not really. Or maybe..idk... Like would I have pine with Vk and Ian often? Idk...*transport means, car, already 5, etc?*
Anyways where was I... So back to the topic of 'real friends', most of the people I had considered as friends were actually acquaintances or colleagues. As much as I'd hate to admit it, it's the truth. I mean we were connected only through school/uni and we'll never see each other outside, we wouldn't hang out with each other on the weekends. What we have isn't friendship, it's a friendly and shallow relationship amongst peers. People at U Syd really intrigued me. They were pretty tight, hung out with each other, truly friends. Shits on what I once called those as 'friends'.

This talk could continue on and on but I think I should stop for now...I mean it's 5 to 4...4am that is...fml.

I need to sleep or I'll wake up at 3pm feeling like shit again =/

Just one little last thing: I went on a spree with Kisanth on LoL today, felt so good winning. We did lose some games but it wasn't really our fault. kinda. :P Cause I mean we're all to blame. In a normal game if you can't carry you're to blame.


OK one final thing just a list I should put that I should talk about on the next post and so forth:
-Gaming
-Colin B'day (Truly fun experience but so sads)
-Friendship, what of it and what's my situation.
-And dont remember cause It's 4am now and I need sleep lulz
*edit* Cause I'm such a shit perfectionist I must put whatever I think makes it better and more right therefore I must add more stupid dumb shit to talk about and waste more shitty sleep time. I'll probs fap again then sleep...What a joke........*
-New years
-Maybe my B'day Idk




and GOOD FUCKING NIGHT

OR MORNING

...

BYE