Shit

This blog is actually cancer

Lifestyle deterioration because of technology

Being a person from Gen. Y, I have been (and still am) living through a time of extraordinary technological progression. I have witnessed the changes of the old blocky mobiles, to the slim black and whites, to the flips, to the slim and stylish smartphones; from the old big blocky monitors, to the condensed and slim monitors; to the super slow dial-up which was amazing during it's time, to adsl, adsl2(+), to cables; from chunky t.v.s, to plasma screens, to lcd screens and now to 3d & touch screens; from the progression of video tapes, to vcd, to dvd, to bluray; from floppy disks, to cd, to usb, to hard disks/drives.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that I live in an age where technology has drastically improved over the span of my life. Because the progression of technology has accompanied with my growth into an adult, I have slowly integrated it into my life. Technology is really like poison to me, slowly corroding me. It has really changed me. I used to be proactive as a child, well at least I did some form of exercise or movement but as time went on, technology became easier to access, and it has resulted in me holed up in my room for long hours at home, being anti-social, just sitting there on the computer.

The internet (access of) is probably one of the biggest addiction I have currently. It's because the internet is so vast and knows no bound. It is even possible to say it is a place where infinite amount of content and information have been shared whether it be personal/private or professional.

I'd rant on more but It's almost 4am and my mind is constantly blanking....... so I'll skip some rants..

Just want to rant a few words about our society and the next Gen, Gen Z. I'll start with Gen Z. Gen Z (and late Gen Y) have slowly begun to deteriorate as a result of social media and the internet. I mean, the music videos are pathetic - everyone acting all slutty, extreme exposure of skin... (Not that I dislike it ;] ). I mean our children would look up to singers and stars and if they'll try to imitate their image because it's "cool" (Monkey see, Monkey do...) Society is also getting lax with their coarse languages. I mean shows on t.v. that were suppose to be shown at 10pm when I was a kid being shown at 7-8pm when children are still awake. It's pathetic really. My lecturer (Main reason why I'm spewing all this crap) told me he conducted a survey during the past few years in his class, asking them "at what age would you let your children browse the internet independently" and interesting enough, the ages range slowly grew from 8-9 to 11-13 to 15 years of age. The reason why it's getting higher and higher is because we understand the content, the information, the amount of things that are able to be done online. The internet, our computers, even our phones have really become our virtual reality, our 2nd life - no, it can even be said that it has become an integral part of lives, almost an inherent feature of our lives. It is also interesting that children of very young age play on smartphones, or some form of technological device to entertain themselves.

Really, technology is a drug, a double-edged drug.

I had some epic quote I made on the spot but fuck, blanked out. I NEED SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Malcolm out!

Still Alive

I'm still alive... It's 3:16am right as I'm typing. Lately, in the past week, my sleeping habits have gone down the drain. I'm sleeping at like 4am now, before it was like 2am, latest 2:30am....

Anyways, life's been boring as always... I just finished my finals a week or two ago. I pretty much studies 18 hours or so straight, no sleep, from about 1pm 'til 7am the nxt day lol. I mean I planned my study time but I wasn't committed until it was pretty much last minute and I really had to focus. I mean I had two weeks, which quickly shortened to four days, 'til two days, and then finally 24 hours and then I became serious. What a complete joke of a person I am

Although this was very stupid of me, it proved a theory of me - that I'm not dumb because I'm incapable of learning or grasping concepts, rather I choose to put myself in this position because I'm lazy. Thinking about it now, I'm a complete retard, hell, other people wish they can learn but can't and I chose to put myself into this shitty situation. Fuck life. and fuck myself.

Let's talk about something else cause this topic is putting me in a shit and solemn mood.......

Lol ok, I just skim read my past posts and it's already been half a year since I last posted. I'm sooo lazy, cause I gotta switch accounts when I post blogs but I'm too lazy to do that -.-

OK So I did BBA102, ACST101, ECON110 and STATS101 and I failed acst and econ and passed the other two. So for my 3rd sem which was suppose to be my second year but I fucked up, I repeated those units but I didnt tell anyone cause I know a huge shit storm would follow and I'll get fucked on ten-folds. It was exactly what happened as described above only I studied literally and hour or two for each one. Useless. Hopefully I passed or I just fucked my life hard.

Anyways... Serg recently came back to Syd for a few days from Melb and we chilled with each other along with the others. We had an awesome time.

Also Colin invited to me to his birthday 3 weeks ago and I had lots of fun. It really made me miss those days when we were together ( no homo ;) ) but times have changed, we make choices, if you cannot cope or adapt you fall behind... Me being myself, an anti-social-quite-and-reserved person, I pretty much lost connection with majority of my friends but then, as Vernon once said, are they really your 'friends'? He raised the topic and it was intriguing as it woke me up into reality that really, I have very few friends and I'm only really connected to them because of gaming. I mean in all seriousness, which game I play and when I play them could really determine what group I hang out with. I guess occasionally on big events we all hang out together but on a monthly basis lets say, If I play with Vern and stuff we- *thoughts get cut off and realises truth* Ok. Not really. Or maybe..idk... Like would I have pine with Vk and Ian often? Idk...*transport means, car, already 5, etc?*
Anyways where was I... So back to the topic of 'real friends', most of the people I had considered as friends were actually acquaintances or colleagues. As much as I'd hate to admit it, it's the truth. I mean we were connected only through school/uni and we'll never see each other outside, we wouldn't hang out with each other on the weekends. What we have isn't friendship, it's a friendly and shallow relationship amongst peers. People at U Syd really intrigued me. They were pretty tight, hung out with each other, truly friends. Shits on what I once called those as 'friends'.

This talk could continue on and on but I think I should stop for now...I mean it's 5 to 4...4am that is...fml.

I need to sleep or I'll wake up at 3pm feeling like shit again =/

Just one little last thing: I went on a spree with Kisanth on LoL today, felt so good winning. We did lose some games but it wasn't really our fault. kinda. :P Cause I mean we're all to blame. In a normal game if you can't carry you're to blame.


OK one final thing just a list I should put that I should talk about on the next post and so forth:
-Gaming
-Colin B'day (Truly fun experience but so sads)
-Friendship, what of it and what's my situation.
-And dont remember cause It's 4am now and I need sleep lulz
*edit* Cause I'm such a shit perfectionist I must put whatever I think makes it better and more right therefore I must add more stupid dumb shit to talk about and waste more shitty sleep time. I'll probs fap again then sleep...What a joke........*
-New years
-Maybe my B'day Idk




and GOOD FUCKING NIGHT

OR MORNING

...

BYE

Late Night Sleeping Patterns

Hmmm........... Well, I've been sleeping really late recently (about a week or two, possibly more :S lol). I've been sleeping at 3-5am :/ I mean it's bloody 4:11am atm! I feel like I can do so much atm but I need sleep. Like this sleeping pattern has pretty much made my lunch my breakfast and dinner my lunch and I just starve all night/morning lol - so I pretty much miss out a meal everyday but I do eat snacks and foods in between which isn't good :X

Anyways, I've been thinking how awkward it'd be if my friends found my blog. I mean I shit talk so much (I think lol) and I talk about personal stuff and how I view things (I'm such a boring person IRL -.-) and I'm pretty sure in my earlier posts (maybe even this one!) I sound like a huge fking big faggot. I still remember the photo we took at Chris's house where I tried to copy Vernon's pose. One thing I regret in life. fah. Biggest. Fucking. Faggot. So ashamed of that photo >.>

I also remember searching my quote son FB brings you here. That's pretty fked lol. (*edit* just tried searching and nothing came up hahaha! they changed it!)

I was gonna talk more but it's 4:28 atm and I reeally need to sleep as I'm gonna be waking up at 8 today... LMAO!

GOOOD NIGHHHTS !!! (or good morning ;) )

Semester 2 HERE I COME!

CHYEA BOI! I made it!!! Passed all my exams woooooooooo!! xD Feels good to know I passed! I was so afraid that I was gonna fail though. Alrightttttt!

Well, I gotta pick up my game on second semester though. Like properly do my shit and not last minute stuff, hopefully -_-.

Anyways, this was just a quick update on how I've been doing, and I am feeling great atm :D

Oh, and my allergic reaction (hmm, dunno if it's the right term for what I have atm) triggers when I sweat, that's fked. I tested it out today by doing a lap around the block and my hypothesis was true! Was gonna go gym but then this came up :/

Anyways TTYL BRAHSKIES

End of Semester

Well I just finished my uni exams, although I kinda told my friends I'm doing them this week, maybe cause I wanna be like them, have a same environment as them..
In all honesty, I'm aiming for passes, not even counting on credit (maybe for Accounting) because of the lack of effort I put into studying. Pretty much as worse as HSC - all last minute studying... Well I hope I do good.

So at the moment, after finishing my exams, I've been doing nothing but laze around at home. I've been playing games, watching drama, reading manga but not watching anime. Idk it's too hard to watch because it feels melancholic for some reason. It's like a part of me wishes to go back to years before where I had a pleasurable time watching it without any worries. A bitter sweet memory or activity I use to do. It really pains my heart when I think about stuff like this, makes me feel weak and pathetic lol..

Anyways, Nowadays I've been sleeping at 3-4 and waking up at 1-4 (usually 1-3) and it's making me feel like I'm wasting my days. I mean 10-2 should be the prime time of the day and waking up at the end of prime just feels bad. Ughh.

Oh and I found sites where you can RP, like be a fictional character who does his own thing and with the combination of other characters develop a story, a novel even, about whatever! Pretty awesome but you kinda need exceptional english skills (Top adv eng and above) which I don't have :(. I was almost  able to develop decent literacy skills but you know, high school end and no one helps you anymore, no one but yourself. I bookmarked the sites, thinking I will check them again someday, hopefully I do. These things take lots of time and effort which hopefully I can dedicate to.

Well I was gonna talk about remembering and going back to things I'd previously done in more detail but I guess I did kinda touch a bit of the topic in this post. Was gonna talk a lot more but since this post is long, I'll leave it to another day (Original Title of the Post was 'The Past, The Present, and The Future'; sounds pretty epic :P)

Bloody 4am (4:08 took me 20 minutes to write this haha) Anyways, Goodnight!

Malcolm Out!


*edit*
p.s fking 4:14am.. (re edits 4:18 -.-") zoned out hard reminiscing about my pasts post.. fahh

p.p.s am i doing it right? Anyways, lol, I have an allergy but Idk what it is.. And I just acquired it recently. My skin grows lumps everywhere around my body and it goes red, almost as bad, well just as bad as my finger blister incident (My finger healed now but gosh, freaking nightmare when i had it)

p.p.p.s I've picked up drama again, kinda slowed down on tv shows, manga is still low (not acquiring new mangas only reading ones I've marked), restarted Skyrim cause of Jims and Tully D: FUCK SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT IT's BLOODY 4:20AM FUCK

AND FINNNALLLLLLYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD NIGHHHHHHHHHHHTS

wallah I will post

I swear, so lazy lol. I'm like "I'm so gonna write on my blog" but whenever I come home from uni i cbf. I always have stuff to talk about but you know, my character is killing me :/

Anyways, I'm in the middle of studying *cough* for my finals...... They're such a killer. I planned out my study timetable for the past 3 days but all I did was bludge and play games.. so bad..

Ughh, last minute studying and doing work is so stressful but I can't help but do it..

Well, on a brighter note I got Diablo III which I will be playing after my finals lol. Majority of the people I know finished the game well within a week which makes me realise how short it is, although they played long hours and that implies it is addictive lol.

and just 5 minutes ago (maybe 10) I just made up a random line:

"So many ambitions, only to be struck down by time" - Malcolm


I thought of this when I walked into my parent's room to pick up the phone (ughh so many calls lately such a bother) and saw my brother's guitar there. My brother moved out but he left his guitar here. So when I saw it I had an epiphany. My brother had an ambition with the guitar and it was to learn and master it and I remember back in the days (lol dat phrase) he use to play and learn the guitar and I remembered how excited he was when he bought it. However as days went, he had no time to play (he had work, uni and other sorts) and pretty much the guitar was just left in dust (with the exception of a few times i tried picking the guitar up but gave up lol)

Well, I got so much worry and so much time wasted.. I should be going back to studying...Fuck Microeconomics such a bothersome subject.. Not hard, just the way they word the questions......

Still got heaps of stuff but as we all know I don't have time ( rather I do have time but just waste them unnecessarily) I will talk more next time and who knows when that'll be lol..

One last note, I've become super anti-social.. Idk why but whenever I try speaking with someone it just turns awkward and there's silence.. rather I know we don't have anything in common and I'm not much of a friend with them lulz. Nonetheless I haven't been out in a long time.

FUUUUUUUUUUCK so much to talk about but one last thing like wallah, I know this'll never happen but I've imagine about this thing several times. I wish that I would be able to write a book about my highschool years of year 10-12, The transition of our big group into two groups. I don't remember much about the split, something happened, but what exactly? I know some vague things about it but I won't go over it due to time restrictions. I've always longed for our group to be together again but I know that'll never happen, after 2 years. We've walked our separate ways. I'm still friendly with the other group but lately I've not been talking to them much.. They're close yet far... I do miss hanging out with them. That I cannot deny. But..but what?

Well I pretty much skype with the boys everyday and that pretty much lets me keep in contact with them and we have fun.

fuck idk what i'm saying anymore. This post has gotten to long..

Classic outro;

Niiways, Laters

P.s I am really copping it hard LOL! I foreshadowed my falling.